If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize