Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize