How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
