Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
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