Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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