don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think i have herpe
just one?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
