why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
