btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
