shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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