awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
