Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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