My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
