I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
