If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
