At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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