There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
