Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
