I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize