umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
