everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
