It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
