I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
