Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
me + whiskey = a bad person
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
