hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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