We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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