it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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