Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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