some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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