also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
