It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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