Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
