we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
