Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
