you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
