but the lizard people decide everything anyway
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
