If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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