Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
