The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
