i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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