i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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