Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
