Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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