I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
