I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
