No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
