September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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