Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
