just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
