Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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