Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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