I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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