I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
