she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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