I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
