Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
