My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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