We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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