Dual....:-)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
