She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
