It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
