The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My pussy is not your playground.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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