grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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